[ he is and he's even more awake now that she's said that. she clearly didn't mean it...right? he really doesn't want to think about anything other than keeping his eyes open at this point. ]
Why would I want to see myself doing that?
[ the look on his face cold...and perhaps even haunted. ]
[ He did have to see her executed once in actuality, and she still doesn't know how he felt about it. The likelihood that she ever will is low. She's not planning to watch it if it ever come to a theater near them. ]
But you have never been much of a conversationalist.
[ Perhaps she should have suggested going for a walk instead. ]
[ while he isn't entirely sure if she will honestly say less terrible things to him, he'll accept it for the moment if only because it's better to limit that sort of second guessing while he does his best to not blink.
needless to say, he's not going to be someone who will be eager to watch her be executed again. hated it behind his eyes and hated it more to live it. ]
Should I start saying something?
[ not that he has any idea of what. he's not tanjiro who can amazingly find just anything to talk about. ]
HOW HAS SHE BEEN?? that's stupid. he might try that with other people but he won't do that with shinobu because they're...far more familiar than others here. you'd think that would help but it doesn't.
how dare this happen to me..... i'm a good naru but, giyuu will hesitate and debate. this is how connections are made, right? clearly he knows the story behind shinobu's haori—any of the pillars would. his voice has a particular quality to it that's just as soft but not as confident. ]
The red side was my sister's and the left side belonged to someone else who was important to me.
He and I trained together under Urokodaki and both took the Final Selection together.
[ and.
that's where giyuu stops for a moment as his eyes start to lower. they hurt so badly from how he keeps them strained but the last thing he needed to do was to blink when recalling such a memory. ]
No one else died that round except for him.
[ now, of course, that could be taken two ways but one of them is far more likely, isn't it? ]
[ he quietly looks at her touch but doesn't pull away and just nods solemnly. noble, brace, and far more of a worthy of the title of being a demon slayer than himself.
giyuu pauses for a moment before properly responding. kind of. ]
It's why I'm not the same as the rest of you.
[ the others survived their final selections one way or another, right? giyuu didn't slay a single demon and was instead protected by the one who killed the most. it was wrong...even though he eventually became a pillar on his own merits. ]
[ She brings a hand up to knock him gently on the forehead. ]
Do you think any of us made it to be a Pillar without any help? Do you think any of us would have lived, if someone hadn't saved us once, twice, more?
[ Would she be here, if Himejima hadn't come and saved her and her sister? Would she be here at all, if it weren't for her sister? Would she be here at all, if it weren't for the countless number of people she met along the way to become a demon slayer?
Would she be here at all, if her family weren't what it was? If her family weren't so loving, kind, and compassionate, how much would she have cared? ]
he flinches at the knock at his head if only because it's unexpected. somehow he manages to not close his eyes completely when she does. however, it's a strange gesture.... ]
I started my training again because I understood that kind of thinking was immature. [ thanks to tanjiro, honestly, but that's neither here nor there. instead he looks at her in an expression that's...almost softer. ] I told you, didn't I, Kocho? This life that I have is not just my own.
[ it's a life that was given to him by those who protected him. he can't keep just thinking that it's useless. he can't keep thinking it would be best if he was dead. ]
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Why would I want to see myself doing that?
[ the look on his face cold...and perhaps even haunted. ]
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[ She turns back to him with another smile. ]
Hearing me say that kept your eyes open, didn't it?
[ She's helping. ]
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but, she does make a point even though he wants to look away and close his eyes. he doesn't though. ]
It did.
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[ He did have to see her executed once in actuality, and she still doesn't know how he felt about it. The likelihood that she ever will is low. She's not planning to watch it if it ever come to a theater near them. ]
But you have never been much of a conversationalist.
[ Perhaps she should have suggested going for a walk instead. ]
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needless to say, he's not going to be someone who will be eager to watch her be executed again. hated it behind his eyes and hated it more to live it. ]
Should I start saying something?
[ not that he has any idea of what. he's not tanjiro who can amazingly find just anything to talk about. ]
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[ He is hopeless, and she's yet to be convinced otherwise. ]
You can be better at if, if you try.
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HOW HAS SHE BEEN?? that's stupid. he might try that with other people but he won't do that with shinobu because they're...far more familiar than others here. you'd think that would help but it doesn't.
....
... ]
Do we talk about our interests?
[ HE REALLY HAS NO IDEA!! ]
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Maybe she should put him out of his misery. ]
Why don’t you talk to me about your haori?
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also wow are they really going to do this the week before giyuu fucks things up? hate that. but, uh, his haori? that's straight-forward but... ]
It holds a similar meaning as your's.
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Yeah, they are. Time to ramp up the pain because isn't that how this game works? ]
Will you tell me about them?
[ Her voice is soft, encouraging, welcoming. She knows what it means to be left behind. ]
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how dare this happen to me..... i'm a good naru but, giyuu will hesitate and debate. this is how connections are made, right? clearly he knows the story behind shinobu's haori—any of the pillars would. his voice has a particular quality to it that's just as soft but not as confident. ]
The red side was my sister's and the left side belonged to someone else who was important to me.
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His sister... Her expression softens. Of course she knows what that's like, of course she knows the feelings that remain. ]
Someone who was important?
[ Go on. ]
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He and I trained together under Urokodaki and both took the Final Selection together.
[ and.
that's where giyuu stops for a moment as his eyes start to lower. they hurt so badly from how he keeps them strained but the last thing he needed to do was to blink when recalling such a memory. ]
No one else died that round except for him.
[ now, of course, that could be taken two ways but one of them is far more likely, isn't it? ]
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What he did was noble.
[ It's more than many could do during the Final Selection, more than what she could do herself. ]
Do you feel guilty because of it?
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giyuu pauses for a moment before properly responding. kind of. ]
It's why I'm not the same as the rest of you.
[ the others survived their final selections one way or another, right? giyuu didn't slay a single demon and was instead protected by the one who killed the most. it was wrong...even though he eventually became a pillar on his own merits. ]
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[ She brings a hand up to knock him gently on the forehead. ]
Do you think any of us made it to be a Pillar without any help? Do you think any of us would have lived, if someone hadn't saved us once, twice, more?
[ Would she be here, if Himejima hadn't come and saved her and her sister? Would she be here at all, if it weren't for her sister? Would she be here at all, if it weren't for the countless number of people she met along the way to become a demon slayer?
Would she be here at all, if her family weren't what it was? If her family weren't so loving, kind, and compassionate, how much would she have cared? ]
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he flinches at the knock at his head if only because it's unexpected. somehow he manages to not close his eyes completely when she does. however, it's a strange gesture.... ]
I started my training again because I understood that kind of thinking was immature. [ thanks to tanjiro, honestly, but that's neither here nor there. instead he looks at her in an expression that's...almost softer. ] I told you, didn't I, Kocho? This life that I have is not just my own.
[ it's a life that was given to him by those who protected him. he can't keep just thinking that it's useless. he can't keep thinking it would be best if he was dead. ]
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[ Blunt honesty will probably help him keep his eyes open. Imagine... being able to take part of the mark training... Imagine...
Truthfully, she is more glad that he realized what he should do sooner rather than later. The Demon Slayers Corps needs him. Their world needs him. ]
But you did tell me. [ ... ] I suppose we'll have to see if that's how you act.
[ SMASHCUT TO HIS ARM BEING BATTED TO DEATH. ]