Don't avoid the question. [Another snap, one that he has to firmly exhale and let roll off his shoulders before his temper works up any further. Deep down, a part of him is ashamed for being this visibly enraged. It takes a lot, and to lose his composure is something he never, ever tries to do outside of brief moments. But being stuck in this place, losing Luke, losing Yu, being fed so little information as to be left like he was grasping for straws, all while trying to ignore the very vibrant memory of being killed like it had only been a bad dream...
He can feel his composure grating away into a fine powder, leaving a raw edge that only screams when exposed.
Another breath, his voice careful and slow, a visible effort to keep his tone even. It's upsetting. But he has a goddamn job to do, anger or not.]
You don't just decide to walk outside and take the life of the first person you come across. I don't care what the reason was - letting off steam, or following the threats of the rules, or trying to whittle down a threat only to choose him as a more willing target - anything.
Just give me a reason instead of an apology, Shinobu. What Yu can or can't do, what he promised you might have been able to talk about - that doesn't change that he's not here.
You are. And if you're determined to take responsibility, then don't use him as an excuse.
He offered. You chose to say yes. And I need to know if that was you making a choice that you thought was best for yourself or someone you cared about, or if this was something forcing your hand.
I don't take a life for nothing! I am not using him as an excuse!
[ Her emotions rise, and her voice finally breaks.
She takes a deep breath and falls silent. ]
But you can think that, if you want. Any reason I can give you won't be good enough. Yes, I made a choice. It was what I thought best at the moment, and I hated every moment of it.
no subject
He can feel his composure grating away into a fine powder, leaving a raw edge that only screams when exposed.
Another breath, his voice careful and slow, a visible effort to keep his tone even. It's upsetting. But he has a goddamn job to do, anger or not.]
You don't just decide to walk outside and take the life of the first person you come across. I don't care what the reason was - letting off steam, or following the threats of the rules, or trying to whittle down a threat only to choose him as a more willing target - anything.
Just give me a reason instead of an apology, Shinobu. What Yu can or can't do, what he promised you might have been able to talk about - that doesn't change that he's not here.
You are. And if you're determined to take responsibility, then don't use him as an excuse.
He offered. You chose to say yes. And I need to know if that was you making a choice that you thought was best for yourself or someone you cared about, or if this was something forcing your hand.
I need something, Shinobu.
no subject
[ Her emotions rise, and her voice finally breaks.
She takes a deep breath and falls silent. ]
But you can think that, if you want. Any reason I can give you won't be good enough. Yes, I made a choice. It was what I thought best at the moment, and I hated every moment of it.