[ JIANG CHENG'S DOGS ARE THE ONLY LOYAL BITCHES IN THIS TOWN
She releases a small breath, something that can almost be called a sigh. Her smile is a little less forced and a bit more sorry. ]
I'm physically fine. [ The wound in her side will heal. It will be fine because that's how their bodies work. ] Am I fine here? [ She puts a hand on her chest above where her heart would be. ] If anyone is fine right now, there's something very, very wrong or they're very, very lucky.
[ To be untouched by everything going on or to be so blissfully ignorant. ]
I broke away because I'm not fine with the kidnappings, and I hope this way, I can find out more.
In any case, that's about what he'd expected. He doesn't know anyone who hasn't been impacted. He's even had a couple of kids come up to him, ask things like is it still okay to play outside? Are they gonna get us? and it breaks his heart every time he has to explain why he's so strict with their curfew, why no one can travel alone.]
But to do it like that...
[It's something he'd expect from OKUNI, NOT FROM SHINOBU!! He sighs and it's a tired, tired sound.]
--How did the others take it?
[Her leaving, he means. He understands why she did, if that was her reasoning - but his mind's eye can't help but hold the image of Jiang Cheng's face, so sullen and sour, as he sat alone at his desk with photographs of days gone by. He wonders how Xie Lian took it, too. They were close, after all. It probably hurt him in the way Baren's departure did.]
Okuni would've gone alone. You know she would've. It was better that I went with her than not at all.
[ There are a few things she regrets about that outing, but she doesn't regret agreeing to go. She's been blazing with her rage, and even if her judgment isn't where it should've been, it was better than nothing. They found out something. The bullet in Okuni's shoulder was not worth it, but Shinobu can't change the past. She can only try to change the present and future. ]
They...
[ Her gaze lowers to the ground.
Is this where she admits she didn't tell Jiang Cheng before she sent out her notice? She isn't afraid to take his anger and deserves to take the brunt of his sadness, but her decision to leave came swiftly, and then she got shot at and had to recover, and time got away from her...
She's terrible in her own way, and she acknowledges it. ]
There's no way they aren't hurt. I know they are, and I know most of them will try to be understanding. I know they must think I abandoned them, but I...
I do have some regret. Doing this isn't making things feel better for them.
[And he does know, and he's already scolded Okuni and brought up all the ways she could have tackled this plan in a better, safer way but-- well. He's sure anything he could say is something Shinobu's already thought for herself, and him throwing his two cents in here won't do anything to change what's happened. He already knows Okuni isn't going to try pulling stunts like that again, and he doubts Shinobu will, either. That'll have to be enough.
For the rest of that, though--
Hm.
He understands - of course he understands. He'd been one of the first to leave, after all. It's a terrible thing, doing what you feel is necessary when you also know without a shadow of a doubt that it will hurt people you hold dear.]
...If you didn't have any regrets at all, I think that'd be more of a surprise.
[A thin little quirk of a smile. It's a pale shadow of his usual boisterous grins, but everything about him has been a little shadow-like lately.]
You have more room to move out here, so with luck, it won't be a decision made in vain. You don't need to be part of either side to help end this mess, anyway.
[ It may be because that he was one of the first to leave that it's easier for her to talk to him about this, or maybe it's because she feels that he'd be more accepting than not. She knows his old reputation, and she knows his compassion. ]
I thought I did, once. The mafia has so much power in this town—either side. [ Even with the state the Xian Le is in now, the fringes of the family are still able to cause this much damage. ] I thought to achieve my goals, it'd be easier if I joined a family.
[ She's still no closer to accomplishing that goal. How much could she have fixed by staying? How much more can she change by leaving?
The only way to find out is to make a choice and stick with it. Her lips form a thin line of determination. Since he already knows, she doesn't need to force herself to smile to cover up her wounds. ]
[He's accepting, it's true - at least when it comes to things like this. He doesn't possess the same fierce loyalty to a family name that someone like Jiang Cheng himself has. It's always individuals who get his faith and love and trust, who win the loyalty that makes him willing to put himself in the line of fire, or dive back into a life he'd have rather left far behind.
His expression softens in understanding and with the heaviness of wishing neither of them had to understand. He loves Montevallo, on a whole. He'd have left the city entirely, cut all ties and salted the ground after him when he went otherwise. But it's a painful lifestyle they lead, here.
He breathes in, dropping his hands to his sides.]
I wish I had the answer to that question. Don't we all? [A thin, tight smile.] If we could find a-- not even an easy solution, but at least a straightforward one...
[Wouldn't things be so much better then? But of course life isn't that easy, and especially not life in a town like theirs.
I'd like a straightforward path after all these twists and turns, but I doubt we'll get one without solving some puzzles.
[ Shinobu's loyalty runs deep, so even if she's announced neutrality, it's not like she can completely turn her back on the Xian Le. It's not like her love and care has stopped for the people she holds dear. She'd die first before that happened. ]
I've been thinking, and I have so many questions. How long has all of this been going on? How deep does the plot go? Did the kidnappings only start because those disgusting Xian Le members want more money, or have they been led to it? The mayor backed Xie Lian's parents, and with that came a lot of affluence, and all three of them have been assassinated. [ And so the Xian Le bank has shrunk with how honest and upright Xie Lian wants to be. ] Is what happened at the Date Auction connected or not? Jiang Cheng doesn't think so, but I don't know. The murders in front of the coffee shop have to be connected. That note taunting us—
[ She cuts herself off. She know she may be paranoid with all of this, but she's tired and maybe she has reason to be. She's emotionally exhausted and trying not to let it show too much, but it's hard.
Are you fine? he asked.
No. No, she's not. She hasn't been for a long time. ]
[It's no surprise that Shinobu is strung so tight. Why shouldn't she be? For all her quick and scary temper, her heart is big. The bigger the heart, the harder it is to stop it from getting hurt, from aching for the things falling apart around you.
She may be paranoid, but it's not like he doesn't know what that feels like. She's looking for any frayed threads that might lead her to an answer, no matter what she has to pick through to get there. He's keeping a gatling gun in a spare room on the off chance that enemies come knocking on his door looking for the children he's taken in. Maybe a little paranoia isn't a bad thing.
But too much is a tight noose on an already burdened person. Quietly, he steps toward her and extends a hand for one of hers. If she lets him, he holds it. It's a loose hold, a barely-there grasp on her fingers - but he's always been tactile. It's the first way he can think of to offer even a scrap of comfort.]
Mm. I have more than a fair share of questions that I want answers to, too.
[Especially after that man had accused them of acting without knowing anything. What else could they possibly need to know, outside of the fact that him and others like him were kidnapping and harming people? Children? Intolerable. Inexcusable. Absolutely, unforgivably disgusting.]
—For what it's worth, I think Jiang Cheng might be right about that, at least. I haven't found anything that might lead me to even guess why this all began or when, but what happened at the auction seemed more like a prank than anything. With what these people have done, why would they add pickle brine to a few drinks? And to what end?
[The last part has him canting his head to the side though, brow furrowed.]
Why was the note taunting you? [Or "us" - Xian Le, he guesses.] I didn't get to read it, but I was told about it.
[ She places her hand in his. He is a comfort, his presence is a comfort, and she grasps his hand in a solid hold to tell him she's thankful he's here. She knows she isn't alone and she knows others worry and care about her, but she tries so hard to be strong that sometimes she forgets it takes an equally strong person to let someone try to be there for you. ]
Isn't it a taunt? Whether it's to the kidnapping ring or to all of us who haven't been able to stop them yet—
[ She makes a sharp gesture with her free hand, cutting through the air with her frustration.
Her voice grows very quiet. ]
I recognized one of the murder victims. I overheard him having a conversation that made me want to follow him as a lead, but now I can't.
[Once she returns his hold, his grip tightens just a little, as if that alone will give her the anchor she needs. He wishes it could. He wishes he could do more for these people and the pains they suffer. It's a difficult beam to balance on, that divide between wanting to care for others and take care of everything alone, of letting others take care of you.]
If it was aimed at them, then you wouldn't be an intended target, you know? I want to think something like that wouldn't be a message to anyone but the kidnapping ring.
[Would even that ease Shinobu's frustrations, though? Her angers? Especially with that last part - he sucks in a quiet but sharp breath. A lost lead...]
...Can you still follow the lead even without him? Is it something I can help with, Shinobu? You're doing so much on your own already.
[There isn't even a note of disapproval or scolding in his tone, so much as open concern, maybe something a little regretful. People are trying so hard to keep him from getting involved, but he can't sit idly by.]
[ She looks a little conflicted, and her fingers tighten around his much larger hand. Is this something she can trust him with? Is it something she should? ]
There is already so much responsibility on your shoulders. [ His dozen and one children he has to look out for. He was one of the first to walk into neutrality. How much should she drag him into this? How much could she ask of him? ] Are you certain you want to help me? What I may want to ask... it may involve a bigger scheme.
[He'd chosen to walk into neutrality, but it's just as much a choice to walk back out if he feels he's needed elsewhere. And with those dozen and one children to look out for? With the entire city feeling like it could collapse in on itself at any moment? With the very roof over his head feeling like it could tumble down at any moment? He knows he can't bury his head in the sand. Not that he'd ever be the kind of person who would, anyway.
He reaches forward with his free hand, then, so he can take Shinobu's into both of his. The expression on his face is steeled over with determination, reinforced with the anger he's tried so hard to keep from bleeding out in front of his residents.]
I wouldn't have offered my help otherwise, Shinobu. If there's anything I can do at all, I'll see that it's done.
[ The entire city does feel like it could collapse in on itself, and it's killing her slowly if it doesn't end up killing her quickly. Her walls are no longer connected to bodyguards who refuse routine check ups, and her doors are open to anyone. Helping everyone isn't the issue; it's finding the right way to.
She nods, seeing his expression. ]
I want to see if anything happens at the Azalea Lights Festival first. I'll come to you even if nothing does happen.
[ It will just help her frame what she wants to do. ]
[There's a little hum of agreement from him. He has a bad feeling about the festival and BOY IS HE ABOUT TO HAVE AN "I KNEW IT" MOMENT.]
Please do. Okuni is taking granny, uncle and the kids away for the weekend, so I should be more available.
[Though what he really means by that is "I should be able to take actions that may be more risky, because I won't be worried about them getting dragged in or more gatling guns raining down on my gotdam roof." The second question seems to catch him off his guard though, and after a second of hesitation, he shakes his head.]
No, I don't. I wasn't planning on staying very long after the lanterns are lit.
[Maybe he'd hoped to sort a few of his own personal singular braincell issues out, but sometimes things like romance take a backseat to dealing with KIDNAPPERS.]
[ That's sincere even if she's quieter saying that. It's a little wise in a way, too, but she understands the implications. If Okuni is also going to be out of the picture for a while, she won't have to worry as much either, what with that shoulder wound. That's one less thing to factor in. ]
[Another, lighter hum. It's the least he can do - and in a situation and a city where he feels less and less capable of keeping everyone he loves safe, he's desperate to hold onto those things he can have a say in.
He gives her hand another squeeze before lowering it again, moving to draw his hands back.]
I'll be waiting for you. [...] But take care in the meantime, if you can. We're all working hard, but I know how you are.
[Exactly the same as like 90% of the people from Xian Le, damn. Self-sacrificing, willing to use themselves up for the sake of getting more done.]
[ She smiles up at him, her warmth and affection clear. She wants to fully trust him. ]
I'd be a terrible doctor if I aggravated my wound before it could heal.
[ She needs to be able to be in her best shape to do her all. How can she do her best to help everyone if she's not at her best? They're all reckless in her own ways, but she tries to be reasonable when she can. ]
You take care until then, too. I know how you are, too.
[The smile he offers back is equal parts fond in its exasperation and exhausted in its warmth.]
True, true - and you're the exact opposite of a terrible doctor, so I guess I'll just need to have faith.
[That she won't run out and do wildass reckless things agaiN... At least not until her injuries are a little more healed, hopefully. But he'll step back with a laugh, raising a gentle hand in mock-dismissal and goodbye.]
I'll take care, I will. My word! Until next time, then?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She releases a small breath, something that can almost be called a sigh. Her smile is a little less forced and a bit more sorry. ]
I'm physically fine. [ The wound in her side will heal. It will be fine because that's how their bodies work. ] Am I fine here? [ She puts a hand on her chest above where her heart would be. ] If anyone is fine right now, there's something very, very wrong or they're very, very lucky.
[ To be untouched by everything going on or to be so blissfully ignorant. ]
I broke away because I'm not fine with the kidnappings, and I hope this way, I can find out more.
no subject
In any case, that's about what he'd expected. He doesn't know anyone who hasn't been impacted. He's even had a couple of kids come up to him, ask things like is it still okay to play outside? Are they gonna get us? and it breaks his heart every time he has to explain why he's so strict with their curfew, why no one can travel alone.]
But to do it like that...
[It's something he'd expect from OKUNI, NOT FROM SHINOBU!! He sighs and it's a tired, tired sound.]
--How did the others take it?
[Her leaving, he means. He understands why she did, if that was her reasoning - but his mind's eye can't help but hold the image of Jiang Cheng's face, so sullen and sour, as he sat alone at his desk with photographs of days gone by. He wonders how Xie Lian took it, too. They were close, after all. It probably hurt him in the way Baren's departure did.]
no subject
[ There are a few things she regrets about that outing, but she doesn't regret agreeing to go. She's been blazing with her rage, and even if her judgment isn't where it should've been, it was better than nothing. They found out something. The bullet in Okuni's shoulder was not worth it, but Shinobu can't change the past. She can only try to change the present and future. ]
They...
[ Her gaze lowers to the ground.
Is this where she admits she didn't tell Jiang Cheng before she sent out her notice? She isn't afraid to take his anger and deserves to take the brunt of his sadness, but her decision to leave came swiftly, and then she got shot at and had to recover, and time got away from her...
She's terrible in her own way, and she acknowledges it. ]
There's no way they aren't hurt. I know they are, and I know most of them will try to be understanding. I know they must think I abandoned them, but I...
I do have some regret. Doing this isn't making things feel better for them.
no subject
[And he does know, and he's already scolded Okuni and brought up all the ways she could have tackled this plan in a better, safer way but-- well. He's sure anything he could say is something Shinobu's already thought for herself, and him throwing his two cents in here won't do anything to change what's happened. He already knows Okuni isn't going to try pulling stunts like that again, and he doubts Shinobu will, either. That'll have to be enough.
For the rest of that, though--
Hm.
He understands - of course he understands. He'd been one of the first to leave, after all. It's a terrible thing, doing what you feel is necessary when you also know without a shadow of a doubt that it will hurt people you hold dear.]
...If you didn't have any regrets at all, I think that'd be more of a surprise.
[A thin little quirk of a smile. It's a pale shadow of his usual boisterous grins, but everything about him has been a little shadow-like lately.]
You have more room to move out here, so with luck, it won't be a decision made in vain. You don't need to be part of either side to help end this mess, anyway.
no subject
I thought I did, once. The mafia has so much power in this town—either side. [ Even with the state the Xian Le is in now, the fringes of the family are still able to cause this much damage. ] I thought to achieve my goals, it'd be easier if I joined a family.
[ She's still no closer to accomplishing that goal. How much could she have fixed by staying? How much more can she change by leaving?
The only way to find out is to make a choice and stick with it. Her lips form a thin line of determination. Since he already knows, she doesn't need to force herself to smile to cover up her wounds. ]
What will it take to end all of this?
no subject
His expression softens in understanding and with the heaviness of wishing neither of them had to understand. He loves Montevallo, on a whole. He'd have left the city entirely, cut all ties and salted the ground after him when he went otherwise. But it's a painful lifestyle they lead, here.
He breathes in, dropping his hands to his sides.]
I wish I had the answer to that question. Don't we all? [A thin, tight smile.] If we could find a-- not even an easy solution, but at least a straightforward one...
[Wouldn't things be so much better then? But of course life isn't that easy, and especially not life in a town like theirs.
What a mess.]
no subject
[ Shinobu's loyalty runs deep, so even if she's announced neutrality, it's not like she can completely turn her back on the Xian Le. It's not like her love and care has stopped for the people she holds dear. She'd die first before that happened. ]
I've been thinking, and I have so many questions. How long has all of this been going on? How deep does the plot go? Did the kidnappings only start because those disgusting Xian Le members want more money, or have they been led to it? The mayor backed Xie Lian's parents, and with that came a lot of affluence, and all three of them have been assassinated. [ And so the Xian Le bank has shrunk with how honest and upright Xie Lian wants to be. ] Is what happened at the Date Auction connected or not? Jiang Cheng doesn't think so, but I don't know. The murders in front of the coffee shop have to be connected. That note taunting us—
[ She cuts herself off. She know she may be paranoid with all of this, but she's tired and maybe she has reason to be. She's emotionally exhausted and trying not to let it show too much, but it's hard.
Are you fine? he asked.
No. No, she's not. She hasn't been for a long time. ]
no subject
She may be paranoid, but it's not like he doesn't know what that feels like. She's looking for any frayed threads that might lead her to an answer, no matter what she has to pick through to get there. He's keeping a gatling gun in a spare room on the off chance that enemies come knocking on his door looking for the children he's taken in. Maybe a little paranoia isn't a bad thing.
But too much is a tight noose on an already burdened person. Quietly, he steps toward her and extends a hand for one of hers. If she lets him, he holds it. It's a loose hold, a barely-there grasp on her fingers - but he's always been tactile. It's the first way he can think of to offer even a scrap of comfort.]
Mm. I have more than a fair share of questions that I want answers to, too.
[Especially after that man had accused them of acting without knowing anything. What else could they possibly need to know, outside of the fact that him and others like him were kidnapping and harming people? Children? Intolerable. Inexcusable. Absolutely, unforgivably disgusting.]
—For what it's worth, I think Jiang Cheng might be right about that, at least. I haven't found anything that might lead me to even guess why this all began or when, but what happened at the auction seemed more like a prank than anything. With what these people have done, why would they add pickle brine to a few drinks? And to what end?
[The last part has him canting his head to the side though, brow furrowed.]
Why was the note taunting you? [Or "us" - Xian Le, he guesses.] I didn't get to read it, but I was told about it.
no subject
Isn't it a taunt? Whether it's to the kidnapping ring or to all of us who haven't been able to stop them yet—
[ She makes a sharp gesture with her free hand, cutting through the air with her frustration.
Her voice grows very quiet. ]
I recognized one of the murder victims. I overheard him having a conversation that made me want to follow him as a lead, but now I can't.
[ Because he's fucking dead. ]
no subject
If it was aimed at them, then you wouldn't be an intended target, you know? I want to think something like that wouldn't be a message to anyone but the kidnapping ring.
[Would even that ease Shinobu's frustrations, though? Her angers? Especially with that last part - he sucks in a quiet but sharp breath. A lost lead...]
...Can you still follow the lead even without him? Is it something I can help with, Shinobu? You're doing so much on your own already.
[There isn't even a note of disapproval or scolding in his tone, so much as open concern, maybe something a little regretful. People are trying so hard to keep him from getting involved, but he can't sit idly by.]
no subject
[ She looks a little conflicted, and her fingers tighten around his much larger hand. Is this something she can trust him with? Is it something she should? ]
There is already so much responsibility on your shoulders. [ His dozen and one children he has to look out for. He was one of the first to walk into neutrality. How much should she drag him into this? How much could she ask of him? ] Are you certain you want to help me? What I may want to ask... it may involve a bigger scheme.
no subject
He reaches forward with his free hand, then, so he can take Shinobu's into both of his. The expression on his face is steeled over with determination, reinforced with the anger he's tried so hard to keep from bleeding out in front of his residents.]
I wouldn't have offered my help otherwise, Shinobu. If there's anything I can do at all, I'll see that it's done.
[No matter what it is.]
no subject
She nods, seeing his expression. ]
I want to see if anything happens at the Azalea Lights Festival first. I'll come to you even if nothing does happen.
[ It will just help her frame what she wants to do. ]
... Do you have a date for that night?
[ Just so she can time her visit. ]
no subject
Please do. Okuni is taking granny, uncle and the kids away for the weekend, so I should be more available.
[Though what he really means by that is "I should be able to take actions that may be more risky, because I won't be worried about them getting dragged in or more gatling guns raining down on my gotdam roof." The second question seems to catch him off his guard though, and after a second of hesitation, he shakes his head.]
No, I don't. I wasn't planning on staying very long after the lanterns are lit.
[Maybe he'd hoped to sort a few of his own personal singular braincell issues out, but sometimes things like romance take a backseat to dealing with KIDNAPPERS.]
no subject
[ That's sincere even if she's quieter saying that. It's a little wise in a way, too, but she understands the implications. If Okuni is also going to be out of the picture for a while, she won't have to worry as much either, what with that shoulder wound. That's one less thing to factor in. ]
I'll see you then, if nothing goes awry.
[ She hopes against all hopes it'll end well. ]
no subject
He gives her hand another squeeze before lowering it again, moving to draw his hands back.]
I'll be waiting for you. [...] But take care in the meantime, if you can. We're all working hard, but I know how you are.
[Exactly the same as like 90% of the people from Xian Le, damn. Self-sacrificing, willing to use themselves up for the sake of getting more done.]
no subject
I'd be a terrible doctor if I aggravated my wound before it could heal.
[ She needs to be able to be in her best shape to do her all. How can she do her best to help everyone if she's not at her best? They're all reckless in her own ways, but she tries to be reasonable when she can. ]
You take care until then, too. I know how you are, too.
no subject
True, true - and you're the exact opposite of a terrible doctor, so I guess I'll just need to have faith.
[That she won't run out and do wildass reckless things agaiN... At least not until her injuries are a little more healed, hopefully. But he'll step back with a laugh, raising a gentle hand in mock-dismissal and goodbye.]
I'll take care, I will. My word! Until next time, then?
no subject
She waves back. ]
You have my word, too. Until next time.